Friday, August 8, 2008

Always The Bridesmaid

Once upon a time there was a happy little Bridesmaid. She purchased the appropriate attire for the early 90's wedding, a dress the bride had picked out to match the theme of her big day. She never complained about the cost of said dress or the additional funds for matching black velvet pumps... vowing that both were very practical items and felt privileged to be a witness for the now divorced couple. This was a no brain er, she felt the dress was something she would use on many occasions being that it was oh so stylish and ill fitting.

Feeling up for the task Bridesmaid did her job well. From embarrassing the bride with a surprise shower... complete with tacky tissue bells and customary paper plate and bow hat. At the wedding she was a smash,what with her speech alienating friends, and her oh so drunken dance off;... revealing more of her wobbly bits then necessary..she was a bridesmaid to remember. History in the making..many strive but fail to reach her level of expertise

After fulfilling her duties so well.. Bridesmaid hung said dress in her closet knowing that it wouldn't be long before she could wear the sexy little number again. Sadly the days flew by, soon days became years and the little dressed was lovingly carried to each new abode Bridesmaid lived in. Each new closet came with a renewed vow to unveil it again....the perfect occasion was just around the corner. What Bridesmaid failed to see was as she grew...the dress stayed the same....still not very stylish and not really something she would wear. Styles and fashion had changed, her love of wrapping her body in loud bright colors had stopped many years ago. This past time went out with teasing her hair and destroying the ozone with aerosol hair spray.....times they were a changing.

Now purging was a new art form Bridesmaid had mastered and soon that involved the cozy little closet that said dress resided in. It lay there in a heap...amongst the leg warmers and plastic hoop earrings pleading its case. Try as she might Bridesmaid felt guilty for breaking her vow and stripped off her sweats and struggled every inch of her over sized body into that dress. The dress felt tighter and shorter then she remembered. It bulged in some places and puckered in others. The zipper no longer met and the slit hardly gave off a peek a boo effect. The words "over stuffed sausage" danced in her brain.

Still Bridesmaid rallied...she felt certain with the strategically placed accessories this dress could be saved. Maybe with a slight alteration this is the kind of thing you could pop down to your local Starbucks with out feeling over dressed. A trip to the grocery store could become something special....perhaps attracting that much younger stock boy you have had your eye on. Doing the "bend and snap" in this dress would surly get you better service at your local Home Depot. The possibilities were endless.

Feeling better about things Bridesmaid notice her skin was turning a lovely shade of purple. Soon her breathing was becoming shallow and labored..the little dress was attacking her. All those years of neglect had come to a boiling point and the dress was angry and fighting back. Time was slipping away and with out a thought Bridesmaid grabbed the scissors and cut away her enemy. Relief flooded in...she felt victorious.

Staring down at the now lifeless dress, Bridesmaid wanted to mark this occasion. She scooped off the pearl and sequin broach that came with the dress and stuck it on a blank canvas. It looked lost on the huge white canvas so she grabbed some brushes and swirls of blue paint. She splattered and splashed and mucked about. As she worked she sang in tune to the radio feeling so free and happy. She had lived up to her vow ...she did use the dress again or parts of it....and now that badge of honor hangs on someone else's wall.
(broach was used for earring in this painting)


BaldyLocks said...

That dress sure took off in a different direction. I love the final product. It's amazing how such inspiration can come from any of the moments in our lives.

newbie said...

Heh Bridesmaid - the dress still looks good - you should've worn it at my event in July - missed you - How was Paris?