Doing Something Foolish

I did something dumb....really dumb. So dumb I want to bury my head under a pillow and scream. I met a man....just a friend. Well I didn't really meet him. Hes an email pen pal sort of friend....Long story, I met him on a website, I was his customer. I say was because I don't think I can even buy from him again, thats how embarassed I am . It started out slowly. I bought a few things and because one was missing in the shipment...I sent him an email. He was very helpful and knowledgeable about the things I bought. We started to correspond. Every time I would buy something emails would exchange and the notes became friendly. Like a friend, I wrote back. We got into a few longer emails and sometimes friendly questions were asked. I would write back and being me....I perhaps got too excited and talked(wrote) too much. I think I stopped remembering that he was a client or I was his. I rambled on, excited about what I knew and what I had discovered about our mutual enjoyment....the reason I started talking to him in the first place. I sent him a link to something I had found that was based on our mutual enjoyment. Before we go on, get your mind out of the gutter...this is not a sexual thing, its a cultural thing. Well this morning after my last friendly email and link, I got a cold basic bill for what I owed. I knew right then and there the almighty dollar had ruled this relationship. This came after a full day of friendly emails back and forth. Then nothing, some how I knew after an hour from my last email that I shouldn't had sent it. I had gone to far and gotten no reply. Then when the cold bill came, I gotten my answer. I sent my payment pronto.

I feel sooooooooooooooooooo stupid. I am blaming it all on my blog. I got use to talking to know one in particular. The funny thing about computers and the web....you can just blab away and feel anonymous. I have a friend that blogs as well and we were discussing how it is such good therapy... its so much easier to talk to strangers then tell your friends whats happening. I don't even think my everyday friends I see read this. I never talk about it. What a fool I have been....why can't I be the bitter jaded old bitch I am in real life on my blog. Why do I ramble and express emotion to know one....or some guy who is trying to sell me something.